Hello! 

It has been a very long time since I last posted, sorry! It has not been for lack of things to write. On the contrary, I have been too busy to write. This post is very short. I just wanted to share with everyone a video of us in the Agent Orange Group Home.

The Agent Orange Group Home is a day time center where children who have been affected by Agent 

Orange go during the weekdays, if they are not too sick.

A lot of the kids have physical or mental disabilities.

Sometimes they are extremely active, sometimes they are not.

Every time I visit I leave with the biggest smile on my face.

On this particular day it was raining heavily. The home has 30 kids on average, this day we had only 14. We had to do indoor activities so we made masks (which many of the kids are wearing) and played “Simon Says” and “If You’re Happy and You Know It!”

The boys are very funny and love it when I joke around with them; the girls are sweet and love to hug me. I love them all very much!

Disclaimer: Enjoy this video, please do not put it too loud or my voice might kill your ear drums! Just know that I sing with good intention, and that none of the children have been hurt because of my singing!

Also sorry if the video moves around too fast, next time I take a video I will be more careful!

"Thank you Auntie"

Said Tu, a 13 year old boy, after he was given milk and a small amount of money (by the Brockport program house). When he shyly spoke to me, I looked over at My Hoa, my resident director, and was told that I was called auntie.

While on an errand with a neighbor, Tu had a horrifying accident.

Tu was only 9 years old when he was hit by a train. 

The neighbor died.

Tu spent a year and a half in the hospital. He arrived home with a metal plate in the top of his head, and a learning deficiency. He missed over a year of school and so was behind. Since the accident he has only progressed to the 5th grade. 

This year Tu refuses to go to school. He cannot bear sitting in the classroom any longer with children that are much younger than him. 

To make matters worse, a few years ago Tu had a stroke, leaving the left side of his body paralyzed.

He occasionally suffers from epilepsy.

In addition Tu had to have his metal plate removed from his head which he outgrew. So at the moment Tu just has a soft spot in his head... his mother has to be careful with Tu, if he falls down there could be terrible consequences.

Tu's mind functions as it should, but he cannot progress in his education. I can see the sadness in his eyes when his mother told me this. I can only imagine the frustration inside him. He is a bright and handsome boy, but he feels weak and slow.

Tu was studying English before the accident. I turn to him and said  "hello, how are you?" and Tu repeats what I said clearly and proficiently, bringing a smile to my face and his as well.

When Tsunami season arrive the house floods.
The water reaches the clock on the wall.

He wants to learn. He wants to.

Tu’s family lives in a humble home made from scraps of wood and metal that the community gave them. Their home gets drenched when it rains, and when tsunami season arrives they live in their neighbor’s homes. They are very poor and if the father is lucky and finds an odd job, he may bring home ten dollars.

The house is made out of random scraps.
 It does not offer much protection from the elements.

Tu needs an operation to insert a new metal plate but the government health system only pays a certain amount. It is too expensive. Tu needs physical therapy and rehabilitation, but Tu’s parents can not afford transportation.

I wish I was a better writer so that I could make you feel the desperation Tu must feel, and the helplessness that I am filled with.

Tu and his mother. Tu's left side is paralyzed so he has difficulty walking.

How horrible it must feel to have a mature mentality but have a learning deficiency? How terrible it must feel to see other boys your age run around, while you must be careful not to fall? How sad it must feel to have dreams, but find them beyond your reach?

Once again, a long blog, but I can not help but share as much about each person as possible. Thank you for your time!

Meet Hien (pronounced He-In).

She is 16 years old and has cerebral paralysis due to agent orange. 

(Her grandfather fought in the Vietnam War (appropriately known as the American War in Vietnam). Hein is the third generation of children since the war, but she is still affected by agent orange.)

She has little physical movement and can not speak. She can make sounds which her family has learned to interpret.

She spent the first 10 years of her life, lying in bed, unable to keep herself upright.

She spent the first 14 years of her life unable to keep her head upright.

About two years ago American doctors came by her house and offered Hien’s parents an opportunity to operate Hien’s leg muscles. They were able to loosen her muscles, which contributed to Hien’s ability to sit up right; up against surfaces.

Hein lives with two parents, and two younger siblings. Her sister is 11 years old and goes to school in the afternoon so that she can help Hien during the day. She cooks for Hien while her mother and father work.

During the day Hien is left alone with the television on for company. Her mother takes breaks every three hours to come home quickly and feed Hien.

Hien’s mother told me that the American Red Cross came to her home and offered to take Hien away to their center. They would keep her at the center during the week and allow her home visits on some weekends. Hein’s mother told me that Hien became desperate and tried speaking. What she said broke through my defenses and broke my heart. Hien told her mother she did not want to leave her family; she did not want to go. She preferred to die.

Hien is a conscientious young woman. She is aware of her surroundings and the financial situation at home. Because of this Hien tries her best to hide when she is sick or unwell. As her mother spoke about Hien, Hien began to cry.

Her tears soon became sobs. At this point I was having a hard time controlling my emotions. The most humbling part of this was that Hien was not crying for herself, but for her mother. She feels bad about all that has to be done for her. She feels like a burden.  The unselfishness in this young girl astonished and humbled me.

What was I doing when I was 16 years of age? How conceited and self centered was I? I can only speak for myself and say that I lived a very dramatic life, in which I thought that my life was the worst one ever.

Sitting in Hien’s home I understood how lucky I was growing up. Never in a million years did I think about the life of another 16 year old.

Hien accepts her disability, as does her family. The Vietnamese people believe that this is fate; this was the life given to them and so they must make the best of what they have and try their hardest to be happy.

Even so I could not help but feeling desperately helpless. I want to help Hien, but what can I do?

Before leaving I told Hien that she has a beautiful smile. She was very happy and laughed, her smile becoming even wider. 

Keeping a smile on your face, when the world is not fair must be hard. Hein makes it look easy.

Thank you for your time. I know this is a very long article, but I hope that you took the time to look it over. I will soon post about a young man named Tu, who was hit by a train. Also, I do not want everyone to think that my blog will only be about sad things, or that that is all that I am doing in Vietnam. Even though these home visits are sad, they are also inspiring and fill me with determination. I am having an amazing time here, and will share this happiness with you. I just wanted to share my home visits first.

Please ask me questions and share your thoughts!

Have a great day everyone (or night)!

A Look at What I Will Be Doing This Semester

Hello Everyone. I have never blogged before. I have never had a reason to post on the Internet, finding my life mundane and not having much to write about and share.
However, a lot has changed in my life.
I am currently studying abroad in Vietnam.
My life, perspective and even ideologies have begun to change.
This is only day 5.
I want to write, I want to blog, not so much to share my experience, but to speak up for those that do not have the resources or ability to do so.

During my semester here in Vietnam, I will spend time with:
The Loving House: A group home run by Catholic nuns that provides help for the homeless elders, and ethnic minority students.
Agent Orange Group Home: Where children affected by agent orange go to develop social and motor skills
Agent Orange Home Visits: Children that can not go to the Group Home because they are too sick to do so.
English Speaking Club: Where I will help students ages 16 to 40 develop their English speaking skills.
Da Nang Welfare Center: A center for the homeless of all ages, many of which have physical or mental disabilities. The center is funded by the government. The center receives about 15 thousand dong a day per person. In America 15 thousand dong is equivalent to 60 cents. 

I will share the stories of the people I meet, and hope that my readers will gain something from what I share. Please ask me questions and give me feedback. I would love to hear from everyone.

Have a great day!
Carol Fernandez